Rejected Nebraska Tourism Slogans

A bill (LB 1024) was introduced in the Nebraska Legislature that would erase Nebraska’s official state slogan and allow the Nebraska Tourism Commission to create a new slogan and symbol.

Even though the current official state slogan is the little known (and rarely used) “Welcome to NEBRASKAland: Where the West Begins”, this bill has raised fears as many believe the state’s unofficial slogan (“The Good Life”) will also be chopped.

Setting aside the governmental ridiculousness that a bill must be passed to change a slogan to allow the tourism folks to sell Nebraska as a vacation destination, I’m perfectly okay with getting rid of “Where the West Begins.”  Let’s face it, the fine people on the Nebraska Tourism Commission don’t exactly have an easy job and we should do pretty much anything we can do to help them out.

But if they are going to replace “The Good Life” – which has appeared on the “Welcome to Nebraska” signs for decades – it had better be with something good.  Here are some ideas that may or may not make it out of legislative committee:

• The Neither Good Nor Bad Life
• Lots of cows, but no bull
• Welcome to NEBRASKAland:  Where bureaucracy begins!
• Nebraska – Enjoy our toll-free highways on your way to somewhere else!
• Democrat free since 2004!
• Welcome to Nebraska – Kindly refrain from discussing Bill Callahan.
• Unbearably hot and ridiculously cold – but usually not on the same day.
• Home of one of the world’s largest lakes!  Unfortunately it is underground so you can’t see it or water ski on it.
• No beaches, no mountains, but lots of corn.
• Ridiculous amounts of white people.
• We’re like South Dakota, but without Mount Rushmore and Sturgis.
• The Good Wife (a co-branding opportunity with CBS)
• The Good Knife (a co-branding opportunity with a knife manufacturer)
• Come see what Peyton Manning keeps talking about.
• Equality before the law* (*unless you are gay or we think you’re an illegal alien)
• No, we don’t actually live in black and white.

• 

  Nebraska: Now in TechniColor!

• The Great Life* (*when the football team is winning)
• Nebraska:  Where Midwestern stereotypes begin!
• Sure, we can put gravy on that.
• Nebraska – Not just for flying over anymore!
• So much better than Iowa.
• Red clothing not required, but strongly recommended.
• Corn in your car, on your head, and in everything you eat.
• Life in Nebraska – Mikey likes it.
• So much more than a mediocre Springsteen album.
• Nebraska:  We can tax that.
• Nebraska – A great place to stop on your way to wherever you’re going.
• See your food before it is processed with a bunch of crap!
• Our third largest city is only open seven days a year.
• Come and let us laugh at your accent!
• Where else ya gonna go?  Kansas?