I love Facebook.  I enjoy seeing what my friends, family, and random acquaintances are up to, peeking through their pictures, and laughing at their amusing statuses.  I like to click Like and let companies and businesses market to me.  I dig sharing little pieces of myself (statuses, pictures, links, and recently, blog posts) and having that be a good conversation starter with people I see.

But like everyone else, there are certain things that I do not like about Facebook.  And no, I’m not referring to the infamous “Facebook Updates” that fill normally sane people with a combination of panic and rage.*  I’m talking about a whole other collection of Facebook faux pas and things people do that drive me up a Wall.

*Answer me this:  what did Facebook look like 18 months ago, or even 12?  Do you remember what has changed?  I didn’t think so.  Get over it and move on with your day.

If any of these apply to my current Facebook friends, (and where else would have come up with these?) I mean no offense.  Think of it as a friend pointing out that your zipper is down – it might be embarrassing at first, but in the long run you’re better off.  If you are truly upset by it, feel free to de-friend me.  Besides, it is probably fair to mention that if you really exploit these, I may be deleting you in the future.  (In no particular order)

• Copy & paste statuses.  So many of these are stupid, bogus, or otherwise inane.  People who chronically repost statuses fall into one of three categories:  1) people who forward chain emails to all of their entire address book, 2) people who lack original thought, or 3) people who are incapable of putting how they feel into a sentence.  Don’t get me wrong, I think it is great that you love your sister, kids, spouse, or great-aunt.  I applaud you for trying to raise awareness for cancer, heart disease, lupus, or poison ivy.  But do so in your own words.  “Repost if you agree.” 
• People who post urban myths.  Did you know that Facebook will start charging $9.99 a month starting next month?  My Facebook heroes are those who see such a status and post a link to the snopes.com article busting the myth.  I wish I had the courage to virtually slap my friends/relatives and say “stop posting crap, you gullible moron.”
• Couples who share an account.  With all of my friends (Facebook and otherwise) there are things I’ll say to the guy that I probably wouldn’t say to his wife.  The shared account means I have no idea who is posting what.  When I see couples sharing a profile, I think one of the following:  1) one of them has major trust issues, 2) one of them really doesn’t want to be on Facebook, and/or 3) they are one of those annoying couples who is joined at the hip.  Facebook accounts are free, get your own.
• People who do nothing, but know my whole life story.  Here’s a fun one.  You accepted a friend request from a random co-worker six months ago.  Since then, he is at your cubicle every day referencing your latest status, link, or those vacation pictures you posted.  Meanwhile, the only thing he has posted on Facebook in the last six months is copy & paste job.  If you want to be a part of my social network, you need to be social on the network.
• Bosses who use FB to snoop on you.  We’ve all been there – a friend request from your boss.  Do you accept or not?  After double-checking your profile for anything incriminating, you grudgingly accept.  But do so at your own risk.  A true story:  a former co-worker accepted one of the senior managers as a friend.  A few months later, the co-worker gets called into a supervisor’s office and is informed that the senior manager has noticed their Facebook Chat status was “Online” during work hours.  No word on if the supervisor ever questioned why the senior manager was spending time on Facebook during work hours.  Real friends don’t spy on each other, and they definitely do not get each other in trouble at work.
• People who friend everyone they’ve ever met.  A few months ago, I received a friend request from my high school trigonometry teacher.  I thought it was somewhat odd, but I accepted anyway.  Over the next few weeks, I noticed that she was showing up in my news feed as being friends with “Bob Jones and 37 other people”.  Upon further inspection, she appeared to be friending every student she’d ever taught over a 25+ year teaching career.  Just because Facebook offers the suggestion, it doesn’t mean you have to take it.
• People who invite me to join their games.  Repeat after me:  “Dave does not care about my farm, my mafia, or any other game I play.”  Facebook is enough of a leech upon my time without getting sucked into a game.  And if I’m going to play a game online, it is not going to be one where I have to constantly ask people for crap.
• People who constantly bitch about their life.  Some folks need to whine – constantly.  Some need to complain about the bad hand life has dealt them.  Some people’s glass is perpetually half-empty.  Some need to be (and have been) de-friended.
• Every status update is political.  I enjoy certain aspects of politics, but I’m smart enough to understand that both parties share the blame for the collection of messes facing our country.  Therefore, I really don’t need to read your daily propaganda about why the <insert political party here> are a bunch of dirty, corrupt hypocrites bent on the destruction of everything you hold dear.
• People who do not put a caption on their pictures.  My belief is if you are posting a picture to Facebook, you’re probably proud of the picture, the activity in it, and/or the folks you’re with.  Therefore, take 15 seconds to let everybody know what’s going on and who we’re looking at.