Parental Rites of Passage

22 Dec

There are certain things that all parents of babies and young children experience.  Parental “Rites of Passage”, if you will.  As a father of three small children (six and younger), I can assure you that a great many of these come from personal experience.

  • An up the back diaper blowout.
  • A “Code Brown” in the bathtub.
  • Being spit up on.
  • Being puked on / catching a child’s vomit in your hands.
  • Being away from home without a necessary item (diapers/bottle/pacifier/beloved toy).
  • Showering with an audience.
  • Child wanders off in a store.
  • Using the toilet while soothing a crying child on your lap.
  • Driving down the road with one hand while the other is blindly reaching into the back seat to get something for the kids.
  • Child says something horribly inappropriate in public.
  • Having to leave somewhere (store, church, restaurant, etc.) because of a screaming child.
  • Knowingly going to work with your child’s spit-up, snot, poop, tears, or other substance on your clothes.
  • A child has an accident while you’re out, and you have no backup clothes.
  • Throwing away / donating a toy in working condition simply because you can’t stand to listen to it anymore.
  • Lying to your child about what happened to that toy.
  • Going for a drive in the middle of the night because that is the only way a screaming child will go to sleep.
  • Using an expression, saying, or threat that your parents used on you.

Parents, what other rites of passage have you experienced?

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