NFL Draft Walk Up Music – Four Ways (W)

8 May

For the first time, players chosen in the first round of tonight’s NFL draft will take the stage to walk-up music they picked.

There are just so many ways I can go with this.  So many, in fact, for me to decide upon my favorite.  Therefore, I give you NFL Draft Walk-Up Music four ways:

I – Friendly Suggestions for the Projected* Top 10 Picks

*based on USA Today mock draft

1.  Houston Texans.  Jadeveon Clowney, DE, South Carolina  

“Tears of a Clown” – Smokey Robinson & the Miracles  (honorable mention:  “Fast Car” by Tracy Chapman)

2. St. Louis Rams.  Greg Robinson, OT, Auburn

“Mrs. Robinson” – Lemonheads

3. Jacksonville Jaguars.  Sammy Watkins, WR, Clemson

“Keep Your Eye on the Sparrow”* – Sammy Davis, Jr.

*Aside from the whole Sammy Davis, Jr. for Sammy Watkins angle, there is no real reason for this song, but can’t you just picture The Commish getting his groove on to this funky track?

4. Cleveland Browns.  Johnny Manziel, QB, Texas A&M

“Flirtin’ With Disaster” – Molly Hatchet

5. Oakland Raiders.  Khalil Mack, OLB, Buffalo

Songs like “Return of the Mack”, “Mack the Knife”, and others are too predictable.  So how about this big Mack classic?

6. Atlanta Falcons.  Jake Matthews, OT, Texas A&M

“The Devil Went Down to Georgia” – Pomeroy

7. Tampa Bay Buccaneers.  Mike Evans, WR, Texas A&M

“Born to Fly”* – Sara Evans

*Disclaimers:  I abhor country and/or western music, but “Mike Evans” doesn’t lend itself to a lot of musical ideas.  Also, if anybody in the Top 10 would go with a country song it would be a guy from Texas A&M.

8. Minnesota Vikings.  Blake Bortles, QB, Central Florida

Whenever I hear “Blake Bortles”, my mind goes to the Bartles and Jaymes wine coolers from the 1980s.  As classic as the “We thank you for your support” commercials were, they don’t really lend themselves to NFL Draft walk-up music.  So we go to Plan B – as in Bruce.

9. Buffalo Bills.  Taylor Lewan, T, Michigan

“Levon”* – Elton John.

*Close enough

10. Detroit Lions.  Justin Gilbert, CB, Oklahoma State

“I Am the Very Model of a Modern Major General” – Gilbert and Sullivan

*   *   *

II – Rejected Walk-Up Songs

Because some songs, regardless of their eternal awesomeness, just don’t work for a setting like the NFL Draft.

  • “Girls Just Wanna Have Fun” – Cindi Lauper
  • “Baby Got Back” – Sir Mix A Lot
  • “Loser” – Beck
  • “Dancing Queen” – ABBA
  • “Ironic” – Alanis Morrissette
  • “Little Green Bag” – George Baker Selection
  • “Wake Me Up When September Ends” – Green Day
  • “It’s Raining Men” – Geri Halliwell
  • “Cold Hard Bitch” – Jet
  • Anything from the “Frozen” Soundtrack
  • “Just a Friend” – Biz Markie
  • “Brown Eyed Girl” – Van Morrison
  • “F*** You” – Cee Lo Green
  • “You Know I’m No Good” – Amy Winehouse
  • “99 Problems (But the Commish Ain’t One)” – Jay Z

*   *   *

III – Under the Radar Walk-Up Songs

The odds of any of these being used are slim to none*, but they would get noticed more than the draftee’s double-breasted aquamarine suit with purple pin stripes – and in a much more positive light.

*Oddly, as a white guy in my late 30s, my musical tastes differ from soon to be professional athletes in their early twenties.

  • “Celebrate” – Rare Earth
  • “Feels So Good” – 311
  • “If I Had A Million Dollars” – Barenaked Ladies
  • “Skills to Pay the Bills” – Beastie Boys
  • “Runnin’ Down A Dream” – Tom Petty
  • “Honor” – The Nadas (below)
  • “The Fixer” – Pearl Jam
  • “Just Got Paid” – ZZ Top

*   *   *

IV – Michael Sam Long Distance Dedications

I realize that Michael Sam, the Missouri linebacker who is poised to be the first openly gay player in the NFL, is not likely to be picked in the first round, but in compiling this post, there were several tracks that made me think of him and the adversity he is likely to face this year.

Disclaimers:  I have nothing but respect for Michael Sam, his athletic ability, and the gigantic microscope he now has to live under just for being the man he is.  I mean zero disrespect to Sam – or any other member of the LGBT community.  We’re just having some fun here.  If this list offends you, I apologize and refer you to the Duran Duran track below.

  • “I’m Gay” – Bowling for Soup
  • “Your Little Secret” – Melissa Etheridge
  • “Break on Through” – The Doors
  • “Come Out and Play” – Offspring
  • “Strong Enough” – Sheryl Crow
  • “It’s Not Unusual” – Tom Jones
  • “Pride (In the Name of Love)” – U2
  • “Relax” – Duran Duran
  • “Living in America” – James Brown

*   *   *

(Author’s note:  Wondering why there is a random letter in parentheses in the title of this post?  Not sure how this post corresponds to the daily letter in the April A to Z Challenge?  Like clicking on links?  These questions are all answered here.)

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