Rejected Names for the New B1G Divisions

23 Apr

 

When Rutgers and Maryland join the Big Ten next fall, the conference will realign their divisions to a true geographic split.

While a big part of me is thrilled that the Big Ten Conference has decided to put the Legends and Leaders names out of their misery, the new division names leave a little to be desired.

East and West.  So boring.  So plain.  So unoriginal.  So…not Big Ten.

You know that somewhere in Chicago, Commissioner Jim Delaney is slumped over a bar stool, shedding lonely tears over the loss of his beloved Leaders & Legends.  As he sips his drink, he jots down division names that would have worked better.  Ones that would have captured the essence of the Big Ten, while avoiding universal mockery.  A mountain of wadded up napkins with the following division names written on them starts to form.

  • Shirts & Skins
  • Snooty & Pompous
  • Dumb & Dumber
  • Dungeons & Dragons
  • High & Mighty
  • Bludgeoned & Bleeders
  • Ice Cream & Frozen Custard
  • Cold & Snowy
  • Night & Day
  • Herbstreit & Corso
  • Laverne & Shirley
  • Three Yards & Cloud of Dust
  • Great Lakes & Great Plains
  • Plains & Pains
  • Great Lakes & Great Steaks
  • Parka & Polar Fleece
  • Cracker Barrel & Bob Evans
  • Jimbo & Delaney
  • Delaney & Ego
  • Ego & Maniacal
  • Wind Chill & Frozen Tundra
  • Kegs & Eggs (a nod to the hilarious @KegsnEggs)
  • Peas & Carrots
  • Pam & Ward
  • Beer & Whiskey
  • Overrated & Underachieving
  • Peanut Butter & Jelly
  • Blunders & Bleeders

 

 

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2 Responses to “Rejected Names for the New B1G Divisions”

  1. Sean Breslin April 23, 2013 at 4:52 pm #

    Yep, Kegs and Eggs should have happened.

  2. Danny Nee April 24, 2013 at 1:22 pm #

    Hey Guy & Chops (could sub Nacho Lady)

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