Rejected Winter X Games Events

25 Jan

The Winter X Games are now underway.  Depending on your point of view, Winter X is either a celebration of hip, alternative culture with tattooed, Red Bull-fueled adrenaline junkies doing crazy tricks in the snow, or something ESPN does to break up the monotony of the college basketball season, and pass the time before the Super Bowl.

Regardless, the Winter X Games has a lot of super cool events that involve snowboards, skis, or motorized vehicles (snowmobiles, dirt bikes, etc.) going really fast, doing flips, and/or achieving “big air”.  To make it seem extra cool, an “X” is usually attached to the name.  The result is some glorious high-def television, some overly excited commentators, and a lot of epic crashes.

But the folks who run the X Games are always looking for new, exciting events to liven things up.  Being such a huge proponent of the X lifestyle, as well as a huge fan of snow, I was happy to contribute.  Unfortunately, these events were rejected by rad hipsters and the ESPN suits in Bristol, CT.

  • Snow Angel X
  • Starting a Snow Thrower at 5:30 am
  • Saucer Sled X
  • Dressing in Layers
  • Walking Across An Icy Wal-Mart Parking Lot
  • Overuse The Word Snow In A Blog (current record holder:  Me)
  • Dog Sled Big Air
  • Passing a Drug Test
  • Yellow Snow Eating Contest
  • My Daily Commute After A Snowstorm
  • Ultimate Snowman
  • Synchronized Shoveling
  • Shot-Ski (sponsored by Red Bull and UV vodka)
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