Keep Calm and…

18 Oct

Ever since the London Olympics this summer, the “Keep Calm” posters (based upon a WWII-era propaganda poster) have been all the rage.

With a pretty simple template, everybody and their mother has their own version of the meme.  Frankly, I think the majority of them are rather stupid, but to each their own.

But as a parent who has adopted twice, this one really hits the nail on the head.

Yep. That pretty much describes the adoption process (image via:

I’m re-posting* this from, which is quickly becoming one of my favorite adoption reads.  The author adopted a beautiful little guy from Africa and her perspective and empathy for all sides of the adoption triad (birth mother, child, adoptive family) is a standard I aspire to achieve.  Highly recommended.

*”Re-posting” being a fancy blogging term for “stealing your work, but with a citation.”

This poster really speaks to me.  Adoption can be a long, stressful, process where the only certainty is uncertainty (along with more paperwork).

For us, many of the forms we filled out felt like rude inconveniences designed to constantly remind us that the only way infertile folks like us could start a family was by jumping through a bunch of ridiculous hoops (immunization records for the cat?  Really?) and proving things (physical and mental health, job stability, financial well-being, lack of criminal record, that we were legally married, etc.) that people like OctoMom and Honey Boo-Boo’s mom never had to worry about.

Throughout the mountains of paperwork we completed, we tried to remind ourselves that the stacks of papers were a necessary evil, as the primary concern of everybody involved – us, the birth family, the adoption agency, and the numerous governmental agencies – was to ensure the child is safe, secure, and gets the best parent(s) possible.

But it sure would have been nice to reference this poster while we were going through the process.


11 Responses to “Keep Calm and…”

  1. adoptionista October 18, 2012 at 4:26 pm #

    Ha! We needed this taped to our fridge during the process!! That paperwork was serious business….

    • Feit Can Write October 19, 2012 at 12:34 pm #

      Us too – and we went domestic both times. I can’t imagine what it must be like for international.

      • adoptionista October 19, 2012 at 1:23 pm #

        It surprisingly wasn’t that bad…honestly, one of the main reasons we chose international was out of fear that a birth parent would change their mind with domestic. Not that international is full of guarantees, but we at least felt confident with our agency and country choice that there would be a child at the end of it all. What a roller coaster! 🙂

  2. Anna October 18, 2012 at 9:14 pm #

    I love this! I just started going through the questions in our home study about parenting and I can guarantee that many of my friends who were able to make a baby the natural way didn’t have to have any of it figured out when they conceived. It seems unfair even though I know there is good reason for it. Thanks for posting it. I’m definitely going to send it to my husband!

    • Feit Can Write October 19, 2012 at 12:38 pm #

      Exactly. That is the beauty of this image – a simple reminder to forget about the unfairness, the inconvenience, the painful reminders, and focus on the end result.

      For us, that is two children more beautiful than we could have created on our own.

  3. wymsel October 20, 2012 at 2:46 pm #

    Thanks for the shoutout! If anyone wants the PDF file to print send me a message or a comment and I’ll email it to you.

    • wymsel October 20, 2012 at 2:46 pm #

      Um… guess that would be a jpg file not a pdf.

    • Jillian April 11, 2013 at 6:19 pm #

      I just found your website link via Pinterest and if you still have it I would love to have the file to print!


  1. Ten Things Everybody Should Know About Adoption | Feit Can Write - November 11, 2014

    […] to the unpredictability of a potentially unstable foreign government.  There is a reason that this is a popular mantra in the adoption […]

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