Top 10 Rejected Names for the New LPS Development

12 Apr

I see that the Lincoln Public Schools board is tasked with naming a new retail development  being built on the land where the district office once stood.  The land became available after a disgruntled LPS employee set fire to a box of papers on her boss’s desk.  This caused the building to burn to the ground, which is bad.  But, Lincoln will be getting a Whole Foods, which is good.

For some unknown reason, my suggestions were rejected.  But I’ll share them here in the hopes that public opinion (from my tens of readers) can help one of these become reality:

10.  Arson Flats

9.  Profitting From A Felony Mall

8.  If this is what it took to get a Whole Foods, we would have burned this sucker down years ago.*

*Admittedly, a tad long, but I think it speaks to the mood of the community.  On a related note, what needs to burn down so we can get a Costco?

7.  Blazin’ Business Park

6.  Whole Schools

5.  LPS District Offices (Now with 100% more fire sprinklers!)

4.  Pyro Place

3.  The Shoppes At Smoldering Hill

2.  El Centro del Fuego

1.  Stop, Shop, & Roll

In all seriousness, I think something incorporating “Phoenix” makes a great deal of sense, if for no other reason than it would set up some dynomite cross-over marketing opportunites with the University of Phoenix.  Hey, whatever needs to be done to help the schools bring in some money to keep my taxes low, and pay our teachers a wage they deserve.

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One Response to “Top 10 Rejected Names for the New LPS Development”

Trackbacks/Pingbacks

  1. Rejected Slogans for Lincoln’s Rebranding « Feit Can Write - June 21, 2012

    […] Did we mention that we’re getting a Whole Foods? […]

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